The Story in Pieces:
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Case Number
26DR-24-393
03/05/2025
I know everyone wants an update- I couldn’t respond to all the support texts this morning because I was overwhelmed with what was happening today. This hopefully will be signed off on, and documented well. BUT: while everyone is talking about this, I am going to list what has had to happen, for me to protect my child or ANYONE ELSE. While keeping in mind: I am luck and- I am educated. I am vocal. I know tons of people that support us. I have had the ability to pay for legal counsel and/or borrow money. There are very few women in this type of situation that have any resources to get help.
These are the dates the main reporting happened. I have the appropriate departments that I had contact with and with whom in my detailed records. I will say: I love my school. I respect the local and federal men and women who serve in law enforcement, the judiciary, the legislation process, and attorneys within their attempts to serve their clients. This will all seem to be negative and full of complaints. It is. I have had multiple helpers in all these areas they 1000% tried to get anything done. I am writing this, to help anyone else that attempts to do the right thing, and cannot do so because of current laws, ineffective judicial process, and confidentiality red tape that harms the innocent and protects the guilty.
I write this from the dates I looked through accounts. There is another long and complicated story of what happened prior.
End of April 2024 and early May 2024:
5/8/24 I demanded he no longer teach, immediately. His attorney tried to use those texts against me. To prove I was “harassing” him. He had told me he would resign, and then went in again. So I was definitely very explicate in getting him to remove himself from the class.
Following that date- I notified: attorney general office, appropriate division, drove info and email drives to them, interviewed. I thought I had reached the point where I had enough, and I felt very uncomfortable with if I should continue to try to find data, or turn it over to someone who could legally find what I could not.
HSPD, the appropriate person who took over part time for the appropriate division. I left 3 messages and then just showed up in person. They were unable to find the prior reports and records from several years earlier.
LHIS- they were aware the AG office took it to review. Requested well child check just to see if there was anything urgent. Did email follow ups- but I understand once there is possible legal situation, they can’t communicate with “the wife” all the time. I have zero knowledge of what was done within the school from there.
State police appropriate division
Retired police that had this division of HSPD prior to current person
Lawyer 1
CPS- x 2 reports on 2 different details- both denied. Verified this with supervisor that this did not warrant a report accepted. Was told I needed photos or current knowledge of physical harm. They advised I report to law enforcement- which I already had. “While Ellifrits reported the conduct by A.Ellifrits in Missouri with their daughter, along with his conduct with S3, to the Child AbuseHotline on May 29, 2024, neither report was accepted for investigation”
Cooper Anthony (cannot help unless there is a report from CPS – ACCEPTED- or a report from any law enforcement. I had requested a forensic interview- myself and the pediatrician attempted to get this done- her report to CPS also not accepted. They require me to know if there was physical danger, or signs- or have seen minor photos. Myself and my peds, knows that it would take a very specific line of questions for this- and we were both very careful not to ask anything that could be seeing as anything related to that. So never got done.
DOJ private contact email, appropriate division, no reply.
Started child therapy with 2 great peds therapist- no matter the situation, big life change for a little girl, and will be an ACEevent for her. Safety trumps attachment per her therapist.
During all this time I am being told by basically everyone- that I need to say therapy or any other kind of treatment, is what I want, and if I were to say “he cannot be fixed” or “he has done abc things that have not worked” that I will appear to be alienating and unreasonable. I have ZERO desire to lie about anything related to this. Why exactly should I say “this is going to be fixable”? That having a parent with these kind of problems, will be best for the child- even though there is a plethora of research to prove otherwise? If a parents behavior modification can be a minimal goal for safety- who is going to verify that? Besides the opposing attorney- who is going to risk my child when I am saying “someone look- someone hear the details” and no one will. When someone themselves says “I am a risk, I have major issues, I need help” and then the they utilize the legal system to stop that safety process.
Then he hired an attrny- and promptly filed that I was “harassing” him, by notifying any friends, family, future or current jobs etc etc. (I actually did not notify his insurance job) I was then noted to be quite revenge focused- dramatic- abnormally angry. The prior times I have tried to leave this situation- guess what- we have an AUTO 50/50 law in Arkansas since 2021. Over the next few months and up to this point, I have paid somewhere over 56,000 in legal expenses trying to “prove” the many things that are really easy to verify. I did not get financials and discovery I was very detailed asking for. I busted my butt trying to get anything at all done. Worrying constantly. Feeling the clock ticking.
Around fall my body was really suffering from the prolonged extreme stress. The main issue being my hand coordination. After I had looked through all of this for an extended period, I would have worsening symptoms toward afternoon, and worse when I am upset. Dropping my phone, unable to text. This odd tingling feeling in my hands and feet, and metallic taste in my mouth. It directly correlated with finding these things in May, so it was pretty obviously trauma related. I ended up getting an MRI- just because I have family history of MS, and it is know traumatic events can “activate” other physical processes, that may have never been in play if the trauma didn’t happen. That is how I found out about the brain tumor, in my 4th ventricle.
Enter attorney group 2- they were tasked with catching up on this in a very short period of time. The first ask was for a continuance for the “final hearing”. Again a time where the opposing parent agreed this was the best course, especially so I could have a brain surgery. But when this was actually requested, his attorney added that during the interim, visits would start. No sobriety. No assessments. No improvement in the safety profile- despite me lining out for months what needed to happen- so I decided to wait on surgery and focus on the task at hand. Later, after much discussion and medical visits- we agreed to file a joint continuation for my “health”. Also denied.
The more I also talked to a variety of people within the legal community- they all say the same, and I will quote a well respected attny out of town “scum of the earth can get joint right now under our current law”
No one helped me notify anyone else (such as the parent I myself had to notify, or someone I could use as a witness etc etc)- so taking into consideration that me talking about it and/or notifying people- would ultimately be used against me in a custody or legal situation: I did the very best I could with very little guidance in the bulk of this.
ARKANSAS CUSTODY change in 2021- very supported by the attorney of the opposing party by the way- finds that the best interest of the child, is almost always 50/50. Sounds reasonable right?? We love a good coparenting story---But what if there is a danger? What if that is not the best interest of the child?
In comes the subjective language of : clear and convincing evidence, which may include the following:
- The parent demonstrates a pattern of willfully creating conflict in an attempt to disrupt an existing agreement ( we all know what that is about)
- The parent is abusive and dangerous, which may be proven through physical evidence (physical harm), testimonies (teachers, counselors, family), or written evidence (emails, texts) ++++++
I have done the job of about 25 digital investigators- I cannot tell you the amount of raw data/ texts/ emails/ searches etc etc etc I have documented. I left the most embarrassing things within that data (about me) to make sure it was untouched if I needed to prove where and what it came from. NOT including what is admitted by the other parent.
Not enough. Arguments used- no evidence of physical danger. No evidence of domestic violence (this is also very difficult to prove also)
“There have been no criminal charges filed and no substantiated allegations of abuse to warrant a complete denial of Defendant’s visitation with the minor child.”- SEE MY COURT CONNECT to the rest of those
If a judge finds that the presumption has been rebutted, the judge must specifically state reasons why joint physical custody is not appropriate and attempt to maximum the amount of time each parent has with the child under the circumstances.
So what now? I am a mandatory reporter- that is all done in length. I have been told it could take 2-5 years for charges IF they even occurred. I am told there is nothing to prosecute without a victim. I am told since another agency has been reported to- they cannot go over anyone else’s findings. I am told “no one really cares about teenagers- especially if there is money involved.
So here I have been- the only way to prove anything is through the discovery process. So I continue to try to get that- nope- he takes me around in circles. Always an excuse. When we finally get to depositions- MONTHS- after discovery should have gotten to me- it is too late to ask anything else, or even further ask for very relevant documents. This was this last week by the way. So I start asking for help from friends, and attempt to comb through the things I got within the last short period of time. I also have to be mom to 4 people. I have to pay for this. I have to get something accomplished in therapy – especially with my child- because I am worried this will all hurt development in a variety of ways (fyi it is cash pay at this point- therapy called CPP which was recommended highly, but difficult to find)- I pay almost $700 a mo for it, for the unforeseeable future. All the while knowing he is dating single moms with daughters- spending money on them, spending money on “transactions” – and telling me I am the problem because of my reactions to the 6 plus years of trauma that is now unfolding in gory details.
BUT 2 facts that most will not know until you have lived it: I can have evidence of the “clear and convincing danger”- but it may be thrown out. The Board of Ed finding and reports- not allowed due to the teachers confidentiality. Even if the educator SENT IT DIRECTLY TO ME- it could not be used. These reports and minutes are not part of FOIA either. Does this seem reasonable? The investigation and report, that has the details: IS NOT ALLOWED IN A CHILD SAFETY CUSTODY CASE. That is the law. The board also cannot come and testify that this report I have, is real. Confidential. Who can do something about these policies/law/bylaw?? Please hit the contact me tab!
I also need the CSAT (this is a s- addiction specialist) to at a minimum be able to state any recommendations- even generalized. I have in writing 1000 times were the opposing parent says I can speak with his therapist. Guess what- not allowed. This was the day before court. He is actually I believe the first therapist, that has been told the details. He was truthful. I definitely understand confidentiality. But my first worry is my child- not the rights of the addict or abuser.
So last night as I am trying to comb thru and make sure that the team of can have all they need for today- I am panicked.
Even though he has stated over and over- that he should have no financial claim on anything- because of the thousands upon thousands of hidden dollars, accounts, burner phones, sugar babies, phone calls- that I have unknowingly footed the bill for- I have to prove that amount without a complete discovery record. I am talked to along the way about giving up the house, to give equity. Having to pay 60k for his treatments- as well as many many other things, such as the SPOUSAL SUPPORT that was requested just for the fun of it- WHY??? I am paying everything I have to keep us safe and for there to be an end to this. Very early on in this process, I get to the point where I had to let everything fall away, except the wellbeing of the kids. Possessions, bills, credit. My embarrassment. My privacy. My pride. This is where you have to get, to get out. I think the main frustration with this process, has been I would have most likely been forced to give money and immediate visits to him. I know every one hates the money part, but I would have liked to be able to consider: what was spent on hidden marital waste. What he has spent on “recovery” to lie more easily. What he has been spending since the separation, all time he could have used to pursue any form of treatment (of course he got a therapist and was going shortly before court). What I have and will be spending on my kids, and myself- attempting to do all the recommended steps to minimize damage.
It is not like there is a happy ending to get to. I am fighting to just be able to not have further and further and further damage. My kids are tired. My mother/brother/ SIL are tired. I am tired. My work /coworkers are tired. My bank is tired lol. It is a long list of the amount of people that this has concerned.
The summary of settling, is that I went and found a young and afraid person whom was brave enough to tell the truth. Even though it might have made her look bad. I would have nothing of verifiable proof- if it had not been for the 5 women that gave me the pieces.
The person that did their job 100%%% was the Arkansas Board of Education investigator– Shannon, Although she was limited by the confidentiality constraints- she listened, comprehended, knew the right things to ask in my interview, did extremely well summarizing a lot of different data points. Most importantly- she was able to assess risk and verify truth. She is the only one that has.
I am not privy to the many private thoughts of decision makers within this process. But what has happened here is not ok. The list of changes I would like to start with:
Auto 50/50 custody. This is a pressing problem. Parents rights should come second to the safety of children. It took me 60K to accomplish what should have easily happened in month 1.
Standing court orders in all domestic cases: (https://www.garlandcounty.org/DocumentCenter/View/7384/Standing-Order-Division-2-2025-PDF?bidId=) : I have a friend I have met along the way, that has to petition the court to leave the state- and the other parent is in jail and convicted of sex crimes. Why??? Her child has been unable to participate in travel ball due to this. What a shame. What was used against me the most was “Neither party shall threaten, injure, molest or harass the other party or any of the minor or adult child/ren of the parties.” His attorney was allowed to lie about me- despite even his client saying that was not correct. Harassing needs to be defined. We live in a digital world. I should have the right to tell whomever I want about safety risks, what has happened in my own home, and gather data and evidence in any way needed to prove my case or protect my child. I did not lie, and I did not say anything I could not factually back up. “- it is now in writing on the web that I have made “false allegations” about his sexual behaviors. Even though he admits to almost all of this himself. That statement being allowed to stand- lays the groundwork for a predator to move on undetected. All he has to say is- “go look at court connect, it was false, a woman scorned” and the legal system allows that to stand to create the web for the next woman.
Court process- this is not my wheelhouse, but surely everyone in the system knows the major issues? If a person has no right to get discovery and “no one gets it” and “everyone lies and hides under oath”- ----- ? Why are there no consequences? For a system that is very stringent on rules and process, it seems to be a pick and choose system, where the client is very restricted.
Board of Ed- child safety should trump confidentiality. Who can change this?
The people whom I attempted to get help from, report to- well, that is on you. Everyone is enraged later, when it is found that someone has gotten away with this for yearssssss. Out come the pitchforks. I was mistaken assuming because we were dealing with someone in a classroom- that it would matter. It did not.
Thanks for the read- I would like help in whom needs to review any of this process.
Alisha AE